— You left a mess (via psychedelicl0ser)
— Joseph Conrad (via purplebuddhaproject)
— Miles Walser, excerpt from “A Sonnet of Invented Memories”
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the sound I heard when I was 9 and my father slammed the front door so hard behind him I swear to god it shook the whole house. For the next 3 years I watched my mother break her teeth on vodka bottles. I think she stopped breathing when he left. I think part of her died. I think he took her heart with him when he walked out. Her chest is empty, just a shattered mess or cracked ribs and depression pills.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s all the blood in the sink. It’s the night that I spent 12 hours in the emergency room waiting to see if my sister was going to be okay, after the boy she loved, told her he didn’t love her anymore. It’s the crying, and the fluorescent lights, and white sneakers and pale faces and shaky breaths and blood. So much blood.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the time that I had to stay up for two days straight with my best friend while she cried and shrieked and threw up on my bedroom floor because her boyfriend fucked his ex. I swear to god she still has tear streaks stained onto her cheeks. I think when you love someone, it never really goes away.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the six weeks we had a substitute in English because our teacher was getting divorced and couldn’t handle getting out of bed. When she came back she was smiling. But her hands shook so hard when she held her coffee, you could see that something was broken inside. And sometimes when things break, you can’t fix them. Nothing ever goes back to how it was. I got an A in English that year. I think her head was always spinning too hard to read any essays.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that I do.
1.PLUG IN YOUR HEADPHONES.
DO NOT LISTEN WITHOUT HEADPHONES!
3.CLOSE YOUR EYES.
ENJOY A VIRTUAL HAIRCUT.
DO IT NOW.
THIS IS LITERALLY LIFE CHANGING.
Woah, I actually got chills when he whispered.
OMG. I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS FOR MONTHS. FINALLY REAPPEARED ON MY DASH.
I thought this would be like; “Oh cool. Yeah, that sounded like a haircut.”
NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO.
YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.
YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND.
The back of my head is tingling.
WHEN HE WHISPERED, I FELT HIS BREATH ON MY EAR, AND I’M HOME ALONE IN A LOCKED ROOM, AND I HAD MY EYES CLOSED, AND FORGOT WHERE I WAS. JESUS CHRIST.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!! WHEN HE WHISPERED THAT REALLY FREAKED ME OUT. I FELT LIKE HE WAS RIGHT THERE.
omg at the beginning I thought someone was trying to break into my house!!
fuck this I literally just thought someone was at my window and my heart is pounding
I laughed out loud at the tickling from the buzzer wtf
had my headphones on the wrong way round at irst. this is amazing
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
I FLIPPED MY SHOT WHEN HE PUT THE BAG OVER MY HEAD AND WHISPERED IN MY EAR
I LITTERALY FORGOT WHERE I WAS
THAT WAS AMAZING
WHAT THE FUCK
YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THOS AND LISTEN TO IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH
OMG NO THAT FREAKED ME OUT I KEPT FLINCHING THINKING SOMETHING BAD WAS GONNA HAPPEN..
I JUMPED WHEN HE WHISPERED
I literally touched my head to make sure I still had hair at one point
I REMEMBER THIS! PEOPLE HAD IT ON THEIR PHONES WHEN SMARTPHONE WASNT A THING AND THEY WOULD TAKE THEIR CRUSTY ASS PHONE AS THE ELECTRIC RAZOR
DONT LISTEN BY YOURSELF IN THE DARK I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS IN MY HOUSE OMG